you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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