She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
