I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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