wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
