I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
