he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
