I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The struggles of a small town man whore
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
