This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
