the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
