you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
