Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
