I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
