i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
