seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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