i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I love you. Go after that dick
Holy shit dude........stairs
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