don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
