So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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