We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
