Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
