Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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