It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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