just tell him i said nine months
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
