ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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