i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
