I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
