Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
