Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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