Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
