are you so shy because you have an std?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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