Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
