Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
