so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
