sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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