Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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