Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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