How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Shame - the story of my life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
