remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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