you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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