god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
