1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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