ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
