I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
