her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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