Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
