And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
