He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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