the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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