You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i think we sleep fucked last night...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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