is your mom at the bar?
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
