The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
